The Poop Diaries

For most people that know me at least decently well, it is commonly known that one of my favorite topics of conversation is about poo. I've been hesitant to discuss it in this venue because I'm not exactly sure who's reading this. But after thinking about it, to deny myself to discuss poo is to deny all you readers of the true me.

So here is my first blog entry discussing poo. It's not totally unrelated, though do things really need to relate when talking about poo?

In my last entry, I mentioned the wonderfulness my instant oatmeal. My initial thoughts when beginning my breakfast regimen was two-fold; first I actually eat breakfast and second I get the fiber benefits. Being a person who suffers from chronic constipation, I'm willing to try almost anything to be regular. It was an added bonus that the stuff was actually tasty!

For most of the two weeks, I noticed no change in my poo pattern. I had been fortunate enough to be enjoying a fairly regular schedule and thus was not upset that I experienced no benefit from the oatmeal.

Today was my first day in almost two weeks that I haven't had oatmeal. Why you ask? Because the goodness of the oats softened my poo...to the extreme. Yes, I'm talking about THAT extreme. Three times in three days. The only thing I ate consistently over those days was the oatmeal. So today, I skipped breakfast like I had normally done.

And today, I didn't poo.

The Most Important Meal of the Day

I've started eating breakfast again.

Don't get me wrong. I love breakfast. It's one of my favorite meals of the day, along with dinner, lunch and snack. I love a good breakfast which ideally consists of two eggs over easy, a couple of pancakes and a few strips of crisp bacon. Depending on my mood, I may opt for an omelet or a waffle, french toast on occassion, can't forget buttered toast and biscuits, eggs benedict, and hell, even cereal.

It's just that, if you've read this post, you know that I'm really freaking lazy. I completely suck at mornings, barely getting into work 15 minutes late. So in order to save time, the first thing to I forego is breakfast, followed closely by the brushing of my hair. Makeup application is unheard of, a complete waste of my precious time that would be better spent sleeping.

But lately, after I noticing that my energy level in the morning was little more than nothing, probably because of the aching pain that was my empty stomach, I've resigned myself to eating breakfast. Not that it impedes my flustered dash to work. Now, thanks to Trader Joe's, I know enjoy McKenna's Irish Style Instant Oatmeal in Apple and Cinnamon at my desk in the mornings. A blog post hailing it's deliciousness will follow soon.

Food and Double-Quotes: A Bad Combination

So this weekend I flew to Houston to attend Stephen's wedding. Unfortunately, JetBlue doesn't fly to Houston, so I flew direct on Continental from LAX. During the flight, they served us a "snack." This "snack" consisted of a "burger" made with 100% "beef" with American "cheese." This "cheeseburger" came in a crinkly plastic bag, as if the plastic has dried in whatever heating mechanism they used. The melted "cheese" was smeared on the inside of the bag and condensation had formed on the inside of the bag, making the "bun" a little wet.

Upon biting into it, the first thing I noticed was the texture. It wasn't quite firm enough to be beef. The "meat" had a soft spongy mouth feel and the "cheese" left a slimy film on the roof of my mouth. It generally tasted like a cheeseburger, though the patty did not have a beef flavor to it, but instead had a generic unidentifiable meat flavor to it. And despite this unpleasant first bite, I was somehow compelled to take another bite, which was dumb of me.

The salad helped a bit to rid the taste from my mouth. Yes, the salad that consisted of iceberg lettuce, dressing and a lone sliver of red cabbage for color. After the burger, it actually tasted decent.

The best part of the whole in-flight "snack" was the Twix bar. Too bad it was a fun size mini.

I think JetBlue has spoiled me these past few years. Not only do they have fly out of Long Beach and have TV's for every seat, but they have great snacks like Doritos Munchies Mix, Terra Blue Chips and Animal Crackers. JetBlue knows how to win me through my tummy. Oh, JetBlue, how I love thee.

Devil Children

All Girl Scouts are products of the devil. The go around in their cute little green uniforms, toting bags of cookies, smiling their cute little smiles and tempt you with cookies. It's pure genius, and pure evil.

My favorite GS cookie is the ever-popular Thin Mint. I love putting a box in the freezer to make them minty cool. To make them even mintier and cooler, I'm going to make Thin Mint Ice Cream!! Lordy, I'm turning into one of them!!!